- You could do, I suppose.- Get out.
- But if you want to pop it on the scales...I'm not even...
- What are you doing, anyway? - I'm lurking about. I'm not...So if I was gonna post it in the UK, that would be Ł4.56, or to Europe, Ł6.12.
Hey, maybe you and your 1.2kg would like to come out for a drink...- Have you got anything you want to weigh? - No, no, no. Just...
- If you just wait.- That's light.
- Did you just push me? - No. It wasn't a push.Right.
- You did.- No!
You pushed me.No, no, no!
- Are you all right, Suse?- I haven't got time for this, Dr Statham.
- Did you just push her? - No, she was trying to squeeze past.I was only following Joanna's instructions.
- But did you actually push her?- Yes, and I am only trying to help!
- You can go away!- I'll deal with it.
- Did you just push her twice?- Did you just push me?
- By "pat", you mean "push".- Are you all right, Suse?
- So why do you behave like a five year-old? - I heard that!It-it-it wasn't so much a push, it was... it was actually self-defence.
- Did you just touch my squirrel?- Self-defence? - He pushed me twice.
I hear they're keeping you in for mild observation.- That was just merely a demonstration...
Right. Thank you.I am so sorry.
- Who? - Consuela. Your young Brazilian wife.Sorry.
Something about your 1957 Jaguar being delivered.Hi.
- See this? Is that your signature? - Yeah, it is.Obviously, it is your decision, but apart from anything else, it will cost you a fortune.
Do you want to just sort that? Thanks, mate.He tried to break into my brother's house.
I do beg your pardon.- Ow. - Martin!
- Yeah. Sort it yourself. If you could...Can't really do smiley faces on death certificates.
- I think you've covered it. - Yes, I think, and perhaps further...It does look a little bit insensitive, OK?
"I love you! I need you!" ... Her.Is Aphrodite in for her Apollo?
Have you discussed it with Joanna?- Fine. - As it were.
- Did you have a good day? - Very good. You?a great deal of frustration.
- Yeah, I had a good day. I missed you. - I missed you.Right.
- I love your nose. Your little button nose. - It's not that little.Have you discussed it with Joanna?
You should get the kink taken out of that.- Very good. You?
Only cost you about a grand.I missed you. - I missed you.
- You don't often come in here.You should get the kink taken out of that.
Yeah, that's cos it's full of people like you.Then it would be perfect.
Why are you killing time?It's Swiss.
I haven't a clue what you're on about.Smack ma bitch up, smack...
Go down, will you?- Hey! - Hi, Guy.
- So, tell me, why are you wearing a blouse?- Hi. - You don't often come in here.
- You'll get used to it. - Yeah.- Fucking great, mate.
- You've got a super vagina. - Thanks.(whines)
- So, you're supposed to say something.- So, tell me, why are you wearing a blouse?
Well, you know, erm...- It's a blouse, isn't it? - Fuck off! It's designer.
It's always me saying nice things about you.What, Laura Ashley?
It might be nice if you reciprocated.- Are those roses? - No.
Your, er...- Blouse. - Fuck!
I never get serviced, you know. It's always me servicing you.Can I have a Britvic chaser with that, please?
"Servicing"? Oh, God, you make me sound like a Ford Mondeo.Aaagh!
- Do you think I need my exhaust checking?- You've got a super vagina.
I don't know. You tell me, you're the joke expert.It might be nice if you reciprocated.
I'd say you're, erm... slightly below average.That wouldn't take long, would it?
And you've got shit tits.I don't know. You tell me, you're the joke expert.
You won't believe the day I've had.I know.
- I thought you were gonna be on nights. - Spotty chin-skin or Ramadan?Though, obviously, I am not concerned.
- I thought you were gonna be on nights.- I am a doctor.
A little white wine or some Bollinger? You look like a Bolly dolly.Well, I've seen quite a few.
- You're telling me how to hold a ski pole? - No.- How does it compare?
Look, you said you had a spare room and you don't.I'd say you're, erm... slightly below average.
I'll tell you what.- I thought you were gonna be on nights.
- You've got...Spotty chin skin. Fancy a drink?
- I think I'm going to have to kill you.We're looking for a man with a spare room and a bottle of Bollinger.